Lost in the moment...

Loss. How can one deal with it? It’s something we don’t want to or never even think about, even if it comes down to just a simple object. Accepting and understanding the lost seems to be a very simple concept but truth be told, it is a far cry from simple. We go through various ranges of emotions, emotions like confusion, denial, anger, bargaining and acceptance when faced with such a phenomenon.

The 1st thing that runs through our minds is confusion (lets call this pre-denial). We find it hard to comprehend how such a thing can occur. Having it happened so abruptly , we tend to become lost ourselves, asking questions and searching for solutions only to realize later on that it is just too too late..When these questions can’t lead anywhere we fill soon find ourselves in denial. We find it hard and don’t want to accept what just happened, we even try to laugh about it, too bad that leads to awkward chuckles followed by a moment of silent regret
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Following denial is anger which causes also frustration. Frustration because we didn’t or weren’t really able to do anything about the loss followed by blame, blaming others, heck even blaming ourselves for failure, thinking it could have been easily avoided. Anger proper can leave us under a state of uneasiness and hard to communicate to.After the anger we start bargaining and don’t we all. Why couldn’t it have been something else? We say to ourselves over and over. And then of course we have acceptance.

Acceptance leads to the ability to move on or bounce back while still in some way traumatized by the loss. We continue on with some doubt in our lives, hoping, praying that we don’t have to go back to the 1st step, Unless of course we learn to accept and put the past events behinds us. It is a hard task indeed to do that but that’s what leads us to 6th phase which is often overlooked and that is discovery, discovery amidst a loss.

We come up with realizations after a loss like knowing not all is lost or that people are there to support us and cheer us up amidst such a tragedy. Having and understanding that in one’s arsenal is what keeps them going. Most importantly, know that you don’t have to go through this all by yourself. Surely, other people won’t feel as affected as you but these people are affected by what’s troubling you and don’t forget that… people care. =)